An Intro For You… :)

Ah, here goes! I’m so excited to start this blog! I’ve been following the wonderful fitness blogger Momfitnessdiary for a couple of months now and I’ve been so inspired by her nutrition tips and motivation for fitness. She’s on her own journey, like so many of us, and has achieved so much to date! I feel that now I need to explain my slant on the whole nutrition/weight loss ‘thing’ because it’s not the ‘norm’. I’ve thought a lot about whether I should actually be open about it and I’ve come to the conclusion that, yes, I’m not on my own. It’s nothing to ashamed of, yet a lot of people don’t want to talk openly about it because there’s still a huge stigma attached to eating disorders/disordered eating (there is a difference, believe it or not!) I feel that by sharing my journey and the struggles I face around food on a daily basis, I might just be able to help a handful of people who feel lost, or at their wits’ end because no diet seems to work for them! Yo-yo dieting is never going to work, because a yo-yo will always come back up…just think about that for a second!

So, backwards as ever, I’ll introduce myself now! I’m Nicole (I respond to Nic and occasionally Nicola too) and I’ve just turned 30. I’ve struggled with my weight for about 12 years but I know that my bad eating habits have been there most of my life. Some of my earliest memories include staying with my grandparents and helping myself to ice-cream for breakfast. Yup, breakfast. I was up early & they were up late so it was always a kind of free-for-all when I was there. Thinking back, that’s when I learned how to be sneaky with food. Quickly and quietly getting what I wanted, eating it & hiding the evidence before anyone else saw.

I guess, looking back, I was just lucky that I wasn’t an overweight child – it was as if I woke up the day I turned 18 and discovered extra rolls of fat. I was always quite bored and lonely so food & the telly were my best friends. That habit and relationship has stuck with me, along with the excess weight and all the nasty stuff that comes along with it. My behaviour with food and sneakiness has gotten progressively worse over the past 5-6 years. My husband didn’t have any idea what was happening because I was so good at hiding the food and disposing of the evidence. I perfected the art of sneakery. That’s so not a word so I’m claiming it as my own! 😀

I read about EDs at Bodywhys.ie when my husband came home one day and told me he’d heard a radio interview where this woman was talking about her problems; he said she sounded just like me (I’d only just told him about my behaviours so it was pretty fresh in his mind). I sought help with my GP and was referred to an Eating Disorders Therapist. That was 2 years ago and she helped a bit, but not enough. I think she was more experienced with Anorexia & Bulimia Nervosa, so having a 28 year old who couldn’t stop eating cr@p was like a new thing for her! I saw her for 3 months and managed to gain 11lbs over that time. Go me!!

Now I’m seeing a CBT therapist and she is AMAZING! She keeps me grounded when I feel like giving up. She talks me through my negative thoughts and HELPS me see where they’re coming from and how I can look at things differently. She’s also helped me see that low moods & anxiety trigger emotional eating. It sounds simple when I say it like that, like Duh, but when you tackle the moods, and PLAN AHEAD, the eating kinda looks after itself.

Mental Health Issues NO LONGER HAVE A STIGMA ATTACHED. Of course there are small minded people out there but don’t mind them! ASK FOR HELP! You are NOT alone…xxx

This blog will cover my journey – the good, the bad and the downright ugly. I want to raise awareness for Binge Eating, Overeating & Other Eating Disorders.

I’m also hoping this will help me as an individual. I’ve got about 6-7 stone to lose and I need inspiration too. I don’t weigh myself at home as I’m obsessive about the numbers and I don’t follow weight loss groups/fad diets as they trigger emotional eating and relapses. I’m not a gym member as the feeling of being the ‘fat girl among skinnies’ is too overwhelming for me at the moment, so I pound the roads with my darling dog and do my own interval exercises at home. Maybe when I feel a bit better I’ll take on the gym, but for now I’m doing what feels right for me.

I’d love to hear from any of you who are currently struggling. Either with anxiety/depression or weight issues. I want to help as best I can. Xx